Third Week Down

Last night I decided to go to the campus a little early to browse around the bookstore and check out the library. I got there at 6:00 PM, thinking that was plenty of time to achieve these desires. I was also allowed to park in the faculty parking lot (SCS students can park there after 5:00 PM) which made my walk closer to the buildings. I go be bopping to the bookstore, I glanced at my watch, "Oh, 6:00 PM, I have plenty of time to look!" As I got closer to the bookstore, and surveyed the windows with all the goodies, I noticed there was no one in there. Then I finally got to the door and it was closed! How dare them close so early. Great, now I had an hour on my hands. So I wandered down to the snack bar and ordered a chicken wrap. I was still full from the treat that Sally had brought me earlier in the day. I should be because I ate the whole thing. Anyway, I took my sandwich, found a seat, and decided to continue some of the massive reading that has been assigned. I looked around and I saw that I was the oldest person in the room. For some reason this made me feel so uncomfortable. Plus no one else was reading or eating. I almost questioned myself if I was in the right place, but I was. I also noticed that everyone had on sweat jackets and coats. The air was cool but I didn't think it called for winterizing. So I headed towards the library, which was on my way back to my class. This building is so intimidating. I couldn't figure out which door to go into so I opted to head to the courtyard to read some more. The air was so calming and absolutely beautiful. I really need to take some pictures but my book bag is heavy enough. So about 6:30 I decided to head on into the classroom. Professor Wray's door was open and she is so inviting. We chatted for a few moments and then I went in to grab my usual seat. I am beginning to talk to more students and realizing that I am in the same boat with many of them.

Professor Wray began her topic of Antiquity and about the Ancient Greeks, concerning freedom to and freedom from. What roles the class of people had. The citizens who were the top dogs, down to the slaves, and of course, the roles that women played as citizens. I am not very involved in the discussion because all of this is new to me. I am recalling or learning as we go. She has a wonderful way of keeping your attention, making the discussion interesting. But like I always do, my mind started to wander. So after class I approached Professor Wray. I told her that it had been over 30 years since I had been in school and that my memory of history facts were buried deep, very deep, and it was taking some time to dig them out. I told her that I was reading the material but due to the massive amount of reading I fear that I will not be able to retain it all. She was so wonderful and kind and told me that I would be fine. The discussion then went to all the wonders of the campus and she offered to take me around and give me a tour of what is available. Another student who has kind of taken me under her wing offered to meet me on night before class, have dinner and show me around. I found out that I can go to any sporting event for free. Plus they have a museum. I told her I was kinda lost and that I should call the advisors office and share my concerns. Professor Wray said that she would be more than happy to assist me with my guidance and what courses to take since she developed the curriculum for the Liberal Arts Program. This made me feel 100% better. So now she knows my fears and will push me along and make it more comfortable for me. Judy and I walked out together and the air was cool and wonderful but the main fact was that I could take a breath of easy and enjoy it. What a blessing.

I came home and read, but didn't read anything related to studies. I rewarded myself by reading my novel. And I plan to take today off from my studies. Saturday I will gear back up and try to establish a better routine. As I feel like I am struggling, the lesson learned is that I don't simply give up, but I seek help, plunge along, and know that this is something I am doing for MYSELF. Dreams to come true but they might not be as you had envisioned them, but go with the flow. Later!